Welcome back, Jack here.
I've spent years exploring retreats and monasteries around the world. This newsletter shares my journey to help more people do the same.

Happy New Year!

This week, I'm going to tell you the story of my first retreat.

Warning: Planning a Vipassana retreat? They recommend against reading about it first. You may want to save this for later.

After a couple of years using meditation apps like Headspace, I heard about a 10 day retreat where you meditated all day in complete silence.

My immediate reaction was one of excitement.

“Why would I do this every day for 10 minutes, when I can get it done in 10 days?” 😂

Despite my excitement, I never made the leap to go through with it.

Until I met Amanthi.

On our first date, we talked about the Bhagavad Gita, the Power of Now, and free will. Yes, we are those people.

One day, silent retreats came up in conversation. I mentioned I had always really wanted to do it, but I could never find the time.

She looked at me and said: “So what’s stopping you now?”

At this point I had been working for 3 years and had heaps of annual leave. I had no excuses, so within a few days, it was booked.

It turns out that I booked the retreat the day after a weekend-long music festival we had tickets for.

You can imagine the contrast.

Stimulus overload…

To darkness, silence, nothing.

What a way to do it!

The retreat taught a style of meditation known as ‘Vipassana’. The school was founded by S.N. Goenka and is one of many that teach Vipassana or ‘Insight’ meditation.

A lot of our tools to address mental health in the West focus on the content of our minds. Talk therapy, journaling, self-help. Practices like Vipassana are different. Instead of focussing on the content of our minds (thoughts, emotions, sensations), it focusses on the nature of our minds.

It's the difference between asking 'why am I anxious?' and 'how does anxiety arise in the first place?’

Vipassana literally means to see things clearly.

And this is why I think these practices are so important. I love a good sauna and ice bath more than anyone, but there is a difference between wellness and insight.

Wellness makes you feel good, but inevitably you end up back where you started.

Insight fundamentally shifts your understanding of the mind itself.

And once you see it, you can't fully forget.

The entire experience was a rollercoaster. Pain, pleasure, despair, bliss.

Replaying my life story wasn't the point of the practice, but it happened anyway - especially at the start. There is hardly a moment in our waking lives when we aren’t bombarded with stimulus. Remove the stimulus for a while, and you’ll be surprised at what comes up.

Beyond all the stories, the deepest experience of the entire retreat was being able to notice my own thoughts and emotions arising. It felt like it was happening in slow motion, under a microscope.

I found myself connecting with ideas such as equanimity and impermanence in a deep way. I had read about these concepts, but this was the first time I experienced them as a lived reality in my body rather than as abstract ideas.

I left the retreat with a feeling that this is the most important thing I will ever get to learn, and that I need to know more.

Returning home, I was in a complete state of bliss. I felt deeply peaceful.

The day after the retreat ended, I went to meet a friend in the city. I was planning to avoid alcohol for a while, but she had already bought me a beer by the time I got there.

I remember having that beer and feeling all 10 days of the retreat implode in that moment. “I’m back”, I felt completely normal again.

It was sad, but I felt at ease knowing that it’s more about ‘seeing things clearly’ rather than ‘feeling good’.

The retreat didn’t resolve all of my suffering.

For me, it was more of an opportunity to feel a level of peace that I had never experienced before, and to better understand the nature of my mind.

The feelings faded, but the insights lasted.

If you're curious and feel the pull to go, do it.

It’s free and globally accessible. A miraculous effort by Goenka.

Just make sure you assess the risks and do your research first.

Reach out to me if you’re unsure!

Vipassana laid the foundation for my meditation practice. These days however, I’ve moved onto another tradition. Which leads me to the next step on my journey… Zen.

More on that next week.

My goal: Host a retreat for at least ONE person.

Focussing on finding the right teacher before pushing the waitlist further.

Will keep you posted!

Oh, and if you missed it - join the waitlist for my first retreat!

If you got this far, I love you.

See you next Monday!

Jack